Tears

You are never more grateful then when you get out of a storm.

You are never more grateful then when you get out of a storm.

I didn’t use to cry. As a young girl I made up in my mind that crying was a sign of weakness and I would rather bottle it in then let anyone abuse me. I bottled so many tears.. tears of anger, tears of pain, tears of deep wounds, tears of abandonment.

I remember that day. Where all fountains were released in me. I went to a woman’sgathering early on a Saturday morning. I was so angry my mom woke me up for that. I wanted to sleep in and definitely didn’t want to be at church. As a guest speaker was telling her testimony something happened. I began to feel like I wanted to cry but I held it in. There was a knot in my throat I tried to hold it in but the presence of God was too much for me to bare. She called to come to the altar I ran which was not me at all!! I got on my knees and the fountain began to flow I couldn’t stop it. For the first time in my life I heard him! I heard the voice of the father speaking to me so clearly I couldn’t deny it was him. I’ve always heard a voice but not like this. My positioning aligned me to hear him and it changed my life. From that day forward I could hear him! I could feel him and it was the beginning of my breaking.

I became a crying machine lol. Every time He speaks, every time he walks in the room I cry. I always told people to look away because I ugly cry.

This past year and a half I’ve been so sick and I wanted to cry but couldn’t.. quite literally could not because tears would not come out and because I was afraid to cause myself a panic attack.

This past few months the fountains are beginning to open. I have never been so grateful to be able to cry as much as I am now! I have been through a horrible storm that I thought I would never get out of, but He is faithful....😭I can honestly declare that. I can sense him again. Yes in the midst of the storm I knew he was there because his word sustained me, his promises is what I held on to but I didn’t sense him. It was hard to believe what I didn’t feel. I doubted, I was hopeless but he was faithful.

The storm shows what you’re made of

The passing of the storm teaches you to be grateful for what we many times consider to be the mundane.

I am grateful for my tears for they are a sign of healing for me, for my heart, my mind and my body.

Let the fountains flow!